Love is the thing

So, it's Valentine's Day.  Men everywhere are racing to the greeting card section of every pharmacy, grocery store, big box discount store and yes, even that neighborhood car wash, where they have the spinning rack of cards to peruse as you eat the free popcorn and await an underbody wash and hand dry on your vehicle.  Do you see them?  They are desperate.  Desperate not to blow it.  Again.  They already feel shame for the long list of holiday violations they have surely committed over the years.  There are just so very many things to remember, after all....birthdays, special foods eaten during first dates, anniversaries of said dates, clothing worn on various occasions and charming stories of good times in the past that they can only smile and fake their way through for so long.  Really, where does it end.  These men are doomed to be disappointing, expectations will never be met, and yet off to the card section they go, trying to avoid shame and holding out hope for the possibility of getting laid later if they just get it right this one, damn time!

I love being surprised with flowers.  And with unexpected notes.  Not so much with chocolate (*see 'weight' blog).  But, I don't at all enjoy these surprises on Valentine's Day.  After all, they aren't surprises on Valentine's Day, are they?  Oh sure, my feelings might have been just a little tainted by the fact that my ex-husband wrote me a gushing sentiment in a card one Valentine's Day, only to leave me for good less than 4 weeks later.  But, marriage-ending Valentine's Days notwithstanding, I still think I'd rather have Gerd donate 75 meals to starving families in Africa than bring me flowers just because he "should".

But then.... there's the love.  And no matter how contrived, no matter how scheduled, no matter what its Hallmark holiday motives may be, Valentine's Day provides us an opportunity to pause and think about love.

And love is really the thing, isn't it?

If you've lost love, you know.  There isn't any other pain like the pain you felt on those nights you were alone, certain you would never again be loved.  Or when you were forced to acknowledge that you'd never again hear the laughter of the person you love or touch their face or kiss their lips.

But, you will always find love again.  It won't always be the same love, but it's there.  It's everywhere, love.  There will be the dog, bursting out of the garage toward the car as you drive up the driveway arriving home from work, happy beyond reason to see you and never crabby or holding a grudge about anything at all.  There will be the friend that shows up at 2am to hug you and console you and stay with you all night, even though they have to get up for work early the next morning.  There will be the child, that you somehow managed to raise to be this amazing person, despite your own shortcomings, who will make you proud over and over and over again and you will love with an intensity that can not really even be described and for whom you would throw yourself under a train in a heartbeat, if only to save their life.  And, there will be the new lover, who reminds you that you don't just get the one chance and love can be found in places you might never have imagined and just might get stronger and better, every single day.

No matter how threatened conservative Christians may feel about the sanctity of marriage being destroyed by gay men and women having the right to marry, and no matter what types of laws they put in place to prevent public recognition of these relationships, they will NEVER be able to diminish or suppress the love that my gay friends feel for each other.

No matter how hungry, oppressed, persecuted or impoverished people are in places all over the globe, they will continue to love.

No matter how abused, neglected or mistreated; animals and humans everywhere continue to give and seek love.

No matter how under paid or under appreciated, I see loving workers in nursing homes, schools, social service agencies and hospitals, loving complete strangers every single day.

Love is the thing, folks.

I hope you find and give a little love this Valentine's Day and every other day, too.