How China Filled A Void That The Thanksgiving Stuffing Could Not...and other suburban fairy tales

Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday and the newest add on....Giving Tuesday. 

As Thanksgiving approaches, we know what we’re supposed to do. We’re supposed to have grateful feelings, to plan a gluttonous meal reminiscent of a distant gathering of pilgrims and Indians or whatever fairy tale we learned in 3rd grade regarding the Thanksgiving story, all the while tracing our hand with colored marker to make a turkey that our grandma could admire over her pumpkin pie.

But, the truth is, it’s hard. The approaching holidays are an unpleasant reminder of our dysfunction, staring back at us in the mirror each morning. It’s easy enough to ignore the hard facts during the rest of the year, but a holiday designed to bring families together makes it pretty hard to deny that certain members of said family aren’t even speaking to you. As Thanksgiving day approaches, anxiety bubbles under the surface, the knowledge that unfinished conversations and taboo topics just might come out after a certain number of cocktails. And the fact that you only see your kids on holidays every other year per your divorce decree notwithstanding, it can be a pretty fucking difficult time.

However, we’re Americans. And if there is one thing we are good at, it’s self medication. We consume. So, the balm to our pain is purchase. And since we are bound together, as the greatest nation in the world (*gag), we might as well set aside a day we can all share in this gluttony together. Black Friday. The consummation of our consumption.

And on paper, yes, I know it probably started as a way to get a jump on your holiday shopping (*shopping for others...?) and for some, it’s a nice tradition and way for ‘the women’ to stay busy after Thanksgiving while their husbands sleep off the turkey coma....blah,blah,blah.  But, I spoke with several people this year, including a couple of retail employees, regarding Black Friday shopping.  And you know what? I didn’t hear much about this “shopping for others” concept. I heard mostly about purchasing great deals to further one’s own.....well being?

We have a collective conscious, I suppose. We know on a certain, politically correct level that all this gluttonous spending to further our own well being is wrong. Or at least not “righteous”. So brought the birth of Small Business Saturday. And I saw it written in recent weeks that one might consider how purchasing products from China at discount prices will further our own struggling economy. Good point. Cleanse yourselves with a couple of Small Business Saturday purchases and feel that you’re doing your part.

But, no worry, you won’t have to wait long for another chance at the really good deals, because here comes Cyber Monday.  And this one I promise you’ll like. No need to concern yourself with pesky details like the potential to become trampled to your death by a flash mob looking to buy a 700” TV for $59.99. This time, you simply sit in the privacy of your own home/cubicle/office/car and you point, click, point, click. It feels good, doesn’t it? Because looking forward to that awesome new pair of shoes on your doorstep feels a lot better than trying to determine which side of the family you’ll spend Christmas with. Or trying to find the appropriate gift for a family member that you don’t really know well enough to even power through a lunch date, much less participate in a gift exchange.

And “Giving Tuesday”?  Well, we didn’t hear much about that, did we?  Just a couple spots on public radio...a fleeting attempt for the non-profits to grab a couple of our guilt-drenched dollars before year end. They even set up a website (www.givingtuesday.org) to try and grab those point-n-clickers. But, honestly, we’re all exhausted. It’s been another long year and we feel (justified or not) that we’ve already given ‘enough’, right? We just.do.not.have.time to do anything more than fill up this holiday season with our already lengthening list of “to do” items.

Sigh.

I wish I had an answer. A solution for the yearafteryearafteryear same old struggles. I wish the “Jesus is the reason for the season” slogans did anything for me at all. Or at least didn’t send me into yet another tirade about hypocritical “Christians”...

When I was about 12, I dug through my parents closet looking for my hidden away Christmas gifts. That year, I succeeded in finding them, and later when they were all wrapped and under the tree, I knew what every single thing was. Really, it completely ruined the whole thing for me. I’ll never forget the empty feeling I had that Christmas. 

I don’t have the answers. I don’t know the correct ending to it all. But I know this: There ain’t a purchase made that’s gonna bring any of us true happiness this holiday season.

So, I’ll leave you with this...

May we all find a way to fill up with something, anything, that gives us meaning this holiday season.

Peace.