It's All Going To Be OK.

I did not personally know Zach Sobiech and I do not know his family.  Although, I can say without hesitation that I am forever touched by his amazing life, his courage in the face of death and the character and strength his entire family has shown through it all.  Not a day has gone by in recent months when I didn’t think of him, and especially of his mom, as she faced what no mother should ever have to.  

Since Zach died, his story has continued to unfold in amazing ways all week, with exciting moments like “Clouds” hitting #1 on itunes.  There are wonderful tributes, news articles spreading like wildfire and there is no question that Zach left a big impact on the world.

But tonight, I’m thinking about the incredible friends that he has left behind. This morning, instead of attending one of their few remaining days of high school school to talk about the long weekend ahead, college plans and upcoming graduation parties, those friends gathered together to say goodbye & honor their friend Zach.  At the very place in their lives when mortality should be the furthest thing from their minds, they plowed into it like a brick wall.  On the very brink of all the excitement that having “the rest of your life” ahead of you brings, they paused...

Because when someone we love dies, we pause - for hours, for days or for as long as it takes to get our bearings again.  Suddenly, all the things that seemed so important are ridiculous.  Deadlines get pushed back, appointments are canceled and phone calls are not returned.

But not for these kids.  Today, they attended an emotionally draining funeral mass. They hugged each other and told stories and cried. They went to the cemetery and said goodbye to their friend. And then you know what they did?  They went to school to perform their Pops Concert. Twice. They sang and danced and smiled and played their instruments and spread the joy and love of music that they have in their hearts and souls. And that Zach had in his. They didn’t go home and curl up in the fetal position, refusing to come out for days. They didn’t say they simply couldn’t face it. They picked themselves up and carried on.

And after a show filled with creativity and musicianship that never ceases to amaze me, they concluded with a group piece, “On Top of the World”.  I mean, it almost seemed like a cruel joke at first. They just buried their friend and now they are doing a dance number while singing about life being super duper fucking awesome??

But you know what? It worked.  It worked because these kids ARE super duper fucking awesome and they showed us all tonight that they can celebrate this wonderful time in life AND mourn the loss of their friend.  And man, do I admire their spirit and determination. I’ll probably burst into tears several times tomorrow over someone I didn’t know, while they are studying for final exams and scheduling their college orientations. They are strong and courageous and I’m so proud to know them.  

Here I am, a mom just ready to send my kid off into the great big world, to nudge her out of the nest, as any good mama bird must do.  And all of us parents, we want so desperately to protect them, don’t we? We want to shield them from all the shit that can hurt them...from the pain of this strange and winding journey that is life. But, their lives, like the lives of us all, will be filled with joy and disappointment and laughter and sorrow and surprises both good and bad.  

And it’s all going to be ok.